How to Understand Your Unique Creative Process

9 07 2014

I’m honored to be a guest on my friend, Melinda Walsh’s blog. I write about the importance of knowing your own creative process. You can check it out here and let me know what you think!

Redesigning Life, One Story At A Time

 

 

 





Mortified

7 07 2014

I spent a rare evening alone with my daughter, the new college graduate. She’s been busy waitressing, bartending, picking up some film production work, making jewelry, getting her business cards, polishing her resume and thinking about what she’s going to do next. Her future is hers to create and it looks bright and shiny. The momma in me only worries occasionally over her career path, most of the time I’m OK with the reality that her career is going to meander and she’s open to where it will lead. I admire the fearlessness she has at her age.

dear diary

She earned a minor in film and there was a documentary she has been wanting to watch with me. So after dinner and a glass of wine, we settled in to watch Mortified. Mortified is a documentary of adults reading from their teenage diarys. We laughed loudly, we teared up, we cringed, but mostly we laughed. The guys who created this have been doing this for a few years. They go to different cities and collect people and their stories and have them share their readings in a stage performance. The movie is a collection of these performances.

The diaries were written when the adults were teens. The diary writers have at least doubled in age since they bared their soul to Dear Diary. The stories are filled with such awkwardness, angst, longing for love, confusion and ultimately bravery for standing in front of an audience sharing those very private thoughts. Their teen selves would have indeed been mortified. The language and the feelings are so raw that the laughs and moans from the audience are because all recognize themselves in those teen diaries. What was an intensely personal and private thought shared only to Dear Diary becomes feelings that are universally understood. We all have to go through that wall of fire that is the transition from childhood to adulthood.

I loved watching this with my 24-year-old baby girl, my only child. I treasure our relationship. We have always always been able to talk—even through those tumultuous teen years. She was a guest writer here with her own teen story of learning to drive, that is now almost an urban myth. I could have given her away her 16th year and I’m now glad I didn’t. I can only imagine what she would have written in her own diary during that time (if you’ve watched the movie, the term “butt crust” comes to mind). The movie opened up a great dialog between us. She told me what a good upbringing she had and she realized that her tough times weren’t really that tough. This was affirming for me to hear as a parent. Her dad and I divorced when she was 14. He and I agreed that our daughter’s best interest would always be our best interest. I am grateful our agreement paid off.

If you’re the parent of a teen, I DO NOT recommend watching this with them, no matter how mature they are. It’s a gentle reminder, however, of the inner turmoil that all teens go through. Teens and parents do indeed survive those years.

The adult authors of those teenage angst-filled diaries held their young selves lovingly in their memory and were able to tenderly laugh at them. As it became time for my daughter to go back to her own home she said, “I believe my young self would approve of where I am right now.” I believe she’s right, I know her mom is.

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It Takes a Village

22 06 2014
Me and my friend Kathy. You can tell by the hair it was the 80’s.

Me and my friend Kathy. You can tell by the hair it was the 80’s.

“Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other’s gold. “ A little song I learned as a Brownie came full circle with a visit from my oldest friend. It’s a long way from Oregon to Louisiana. There’s been years of miles since Kathy left her home at 18 bound for college. We’ve seen each other a dozen or so times since then and have kept loosely in touch. Our correspondence gave us glimpses into each other lives and current on our big life events.

First day of Junior High.

First day of Junior High.

Our friendship is one of those magic ones, when we see each other, the years melt away and we connect with our old familiar friendship, no matter how different our lives are or how many years have slipped away. Kathy spent her visit between me and another old friend whose family friendship goes back further than our childhood. It took our buddy who lives so far away to get the two of us who only live a few miles from each other together.

Over dark, rich coffee at an old college diner, we shared our long buried memories of friends, school, pets, and the neighborhood we grew up in. Afterwards Kathy and I drove slowly up and down the streets of the town and went to visit some moms and dads, now in their 80’s, who raised us all. This time of year in Louisiana is lush and green. The crepe myrtles and magnolia trees are in full bloom with hot pink and white blossoms. It’s easy to forget the beauty of this river town.

Now and then. The yellowed photo is of us going to Girl Scout camp.

Now and then. The yellowed photo is of us going to Girl Scout camp.

It’s only with hindsight that I understand why it was important for Kathy to visit her childhood friends’ parents. In every visit with everyone we spent time with, it came up what a great neighborhood we grew up in. It was filled with young families in their first home. Our young years were spent with stay-at-home-moms and we walked to elementary school. We rode our bikes to each other’s houses with doors that stayed unlocked, had simple birthday parties with cake and ice cream, sleepovers, and lots of little girl giggles. We remembered old house numbers and old phone numbers (well…some of us). A remembrance of my dad having to “rescue” Kathy and her bike when she got suck in mud on her way to play with me made us smile.

The darkest thing that we had awareness of was that Kathy’s mom, our Girl Scout leader, died of cancer when we were 10. I was too young to comprehend how devastating that was to my young friend and those days it was believed the best way to deal with it, was by not talking about it. But all the parents understood the depth of this tragedy and all loved this little girl more than any of our other friends. I still felt that love with each hug that greeted us on our visits. My mom still calls her Little Kathy.

Sweet 16 and headed to the beach.

Sweet 16 and headed to the beach.

Many of us from that childhood neighborhood stayed friends as our families moved into newer neighborhoods with bigger homes and we went to different high schools. We shared those teen memories of driving and dating and first forbidden tastes of alcohol. I’m an only child and she’s the friend my parents invited on family vacations when I was a teenager, so they could enjoy their vacation and not have a bored teen spoiling their fun.

We’ve all lived full lives, each with it own ups and downs, blessings and challenges. What continued to come across in conversation was the gratitude for the lives we have led. It does indeed take a village to raise a child. With adult eyes, I realize that old neighborhood with it’s tree-lined streets was a true village. It raised us all and the safety and love that lived there, still lives on in each of us.

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Why I Love Purple

12 06 2014

letter

When I was very young my Dad worked the night shift, midnight to eight, and started his TV fix-it business in the garage he built during the day. I’d bring my Barbies and play on the floor as he worked. When asked what my Dad’s hobby was, I would say, “sleep”.

Connie&Dad B&W65

My Dad, Lloyd McLeod, would became a local character because of that business he started. I spent a lot of time at the shop. My Mom would pick me up from school and we’d “go to work.” He became a bit of a local celebrity from the commercials he created and starred in. They were those classic “bad” commercials that every town has. A big guy, he did one that said, “I stand behind everything I sell…because if I stood in front of it, you couldn’t see it.” But people identified with this large man who talked to them from their tv’s in their living rooms. Strangers really did come up to us when we were out for dinner and ask for his autograph.

My Dad, Lloyd McLeod, shooting a tv commercial

My Dad, Lloyd McLeod, shooting a tv commercial

Purple Truck

The building that housed his business was known as “the large purple building.” The color came into being because when he had only one delivery truck, he let an ex-con paint it. He was very affordable and needed a job. It came back painted a wild purple color. But people soon started asking Dad if he had a fleet. A marketing accident that turned into a successful brand was born.

We were a tight family unit. My Dad was a ham and we thought the attention funny. I may have spent a lot of time “at work”, but my dad was at every school event, birthday party and if I had to get a shot at the doctor, he was there to hold my hand. He loved for our home to be filled with my friends. I remember him playing dead at slumber parties as little girls squealed and jumped on him and tried to wake him up. And then the screams when we woke him up. We’d all laugh and giggle until we were out of breath.

My Dad was large, literally and symbolically. He loved to eat and drink and smoke his cigarettes. He had a big laugh and when he snored, it rattled the windowpanes. He loved people and nothing made him happier than when someone dropped by our house unexpectedly. I never had that teenage need to sneak out. My house was the place my friends came to at all hours. Because of his long years on the night shift, he was a catnapper. Odds were if you came by at midnight, he’d be up. The only rule was not to wake my Mom. If she showed up in the doorway in her robe, it meant party over.

I can now see that he was groundbreaking as a brand in his time. As a teenager, however, when your parents are supposed to be invisible, having a Dad on TV was mortifying. When I was in high school, I would have him drop me off at the corner rather than be driven to the front door in one of his purple delivery vans.

My Dad left me a great legacy. I went into advertising because of those early lessons in branding. But more importantly is that I know what unconditional love is because of both my parents. Like Dad I believe in living life large. Dad and I both loved the movie Mame and her quote, “Life’s a banquet and most poor suckers are staving to death!” For me a perfect evening is a dinner party at my house; food, friends, freely flowing wine, the telling of our stories and lots of laughter.

I realize that I’ve unconsciously filled my house with purple. I was painting an accent wall in my home a very deep purple. I went to the paint store that was now housed in Dad’s old purple building. They kept trying to get the color right, but it took two hours of mixing and remixing to get the exact color I wanted. I felt his spirit was there beside me as I was getting purple paint in his old shop and he just wanted me to stay there in his old purple building for as long as possible.

Some people see butterflies when they feel a loved ones presence. I see purple. I am my Father’s daughter.

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My First Pop Up Dinner Party

5 06 2014

photo 1

It started as a casual conversation about friends getting together for a wine tasting and turned into a pop up dinner party with visions of it becoming a reality show in a spa setting. My friend Alicia Allain, owner of Ma Maison of Beaute likes big ideas and I really admire that she makes them happen. (Click here to see the video my sweetie created for her zen-like salon). As her pop up dinner party idea grew Alicia gathered a team to make a magical evening happen.

The first on the team was Myrna Arroyo. She’s a marketer and a sommelier who also leads wine trips around the world. I became an instant BFF with her—wine, marketing and traveling—I want to do that! The right chef soon joined the team and made a perfect match with an interesting take on the experience. Chef Jimmy Le is also a high school teacher in a unique program that teaches culinary arts to teens. Chef Jimmy decided what better way to have his students graduate from his program then to have them work in a real life experience of cooking, prepping and plating. The menu evolved into a fusion of Spanish and local cuisine called “A Night in Spain through Louisiana.”

misc

My sweetie and I joined the team as cinematographer and art director (mostly I tried not to get in front of Steve when he was shooting). A lighting expert and a director soon added their expertise to the event, as well as friends with restaurant experience. Artists were invited to showcase their work and to create art as the evening progressed.

Back stage

Back stage

Invites were sent out and a gathering of forty friends arrived on a rare Louisiana Summer evening that actually had a chill in the air. The stage was set, the tent was up, the tables were set, the wine was chilling, the cooks were prepping and the iced Sangria was waiting for the guests to arrive.

Chef Jimmy Le, Alicia Allain, who made the evening happen and Sommelier Myrna Arroyo.

Chef Jimmy Le, Alicia Allain, who made the evening happen and Sommelier Myrna Arroyo

As the evening settled in the sommelier explained the personality of each wine served and Chef shared his Spanish inspired menu full of the freshest Louisiana seafood and local ingredients. Five wines and five courses were served over several hours. I love wine pairing meals, it’s such a amazing chemistry when the right wine blends with a dish that makes both taste better. If you’ve never had this experience, add it to your bucket list.

My first pop up dinner party proved to be a delicious, fun and laughter-filled night under the stars. It is the beginning of a tradition that will grow and evolve and be as much about dreams and passion as it is about food and wine. We’ll have another sometime this summer and if it turns into a reality show I’ll let you know. Cheers!

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Did someone really go on a killing spree because he couldn’t get laid?

27 05 2014

I have wanted to write of the latest massacre in Santa Barbara, but I haven’t been able to unjumble my thoughts. I’m numbed with the reality that mass killings are now commonplace. How is this acceptable? So many things in the news have overwhelmed me lately. I’ve been shocked and the details are so unfathomable that I turned off the news and lost myself in a fantasy book about a utopian culture this weekend.

But my brain wouldn’t turn off the thoughts. The horror remains. I tried to write cohesively and after sitting for an hour looking at a blank page, I gave up. So here are my random thoughts that I’m compelled to get out.

  • The Whys? Our crazy gun culture; misogyny; lack of help for those with mental health needs; an entitled segment of society; a paralyzed political system corrupted by money; the 24-hour news beast that must be fed; the list goes on and on.
  • The paradigm has changed. My daughter just graduated for the largest, most diverse class ever from Louisiana State University, with more women in that class than men. What’s significant is that this happened at a large Southern university. I love the South, but we’re not known for progressive social movements, so for this to happen here, it means it is happening everywhere. This American century is going to be about how we accept the diverse nation that we are.
  • So what do those in power fear? Loss of power and as the paradigm shifts they cling to the old way of thinking more tightly.
  • The young man who killed so many in California was part of an “alpha” male Internet group that is so anti-women that the Southern Poverty Law Center follows them for fear of the hate crimes they may commit.
  • As this country continues this diverse shift in our population, there has been a systematic assault on women’s rights. Louisiana just passed a law making it harder for women in this state—one of the poorest in the country—to have a safe abortion. I heard a startling statistic recently that crime actually started to go down 15 years after Roe v Wade. The theory was that when a child is wanted and loved and cared for, they are less likely to turn to crime in their teen years than a child who was unwanted.
  • It’s an easy jump from this hate crime in Santa Barbara to the other side of the world with the Nigeria #bringbackourgirls crisis, where a terrorist has kidnapped young schoolgirls. The biggest threat to this man’s world view was an educated girl. Who is it the Taliban feared? A young 14-year-old girl who loved education. What did they do? They shot her in the face to shut her up. But they couldn’t quiet her words and that young girl from Afghanistan was honored with a Nobel Peace Prize nomination. There probably will be more killing of women as we assume an equal position in the world. But it won’t stop the rising tide and it won’t shut us up.
  • I don’t believe in saying the murderer or terrorist’s names. I believe they thrive and often act for the publicity. I don’t want them remembered for their heinous act.

I hope that in the near future we look back on this violent era as a time that preceded a shift in human consciousness to one of living together in peace. I found a TED talk that reports even though it may not seem like it, due to the constant bombardment of bad news, that we are now living in the most peaceful time in our species’ existence. If you need that bit of hope, check out, Steven Pinker’s, “The Myth of Violence” 

I wrote a post 10 Small Things I Can Do Now after the Newtown massacre in which I listed all the victims names.

I honor the lives of those taken in California and pray that the madness will end.

Weihan Wang

Cheng Yuan Hong

George Chen

Katherine Breann Cooper

Christopher Ross Michaels-Martinez

Veronika Elizabeth Weiss








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